


We Only Do It For The Scars And Stories, Not The Fame

by lalalathisisme



Series: Fall Out Boy [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hales are still alive, Happy Ending, Human AU, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, band au, fall out boy - Freeform, obnoxious amount of Fall Out Boy music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2013-01-28
Packaged: 2017-11-27 08:35:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/659959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalalathisisme/pseuds/lalalathisisme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles talks a lot, but he’s usually not talking about himself. But eventually people learn that Stiles doesn’t need to talk about himself, he puts everything out there in his music. This is the story of how Stiles fell in love for the first time, got his heart broken, and then fell in love again – this time with someone who loved him back</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Only Do It For The Scars And Stories, Not The Fame

**_Abomination (n) – a vile, shameful, or detestable action, condition, habit, etc._ **

**Freshman Year**

Stiles fell in love with Lydia first. It was on the first day of high school, and he had never seen her before, and she was beautiful. But he was silly and she was smart. So he loved her from afar. Freshman year was spent with Stiles trying not to get his ass kicked for opening his mouth when he shouldn’t and trying to get Lydia to notice him, then talk to him, and then they become best friends (but not as best of friends as him and Scott, because Scott is his boy for life), and then they fall in love and live happily ever after.

The summer after freshman year Scott started taking guitar lessons. Scott thought it would make him look cool, Stiles thought that even that wouldn’t help him, but Scott took lessons anyway. He sucked.

**Sophomore Year**

Scott fell in love for the first time, with a bubbly brunette girl named Allison who had just transferred to Beacon Hills High that year. Stiles and Scott would spend lunch every day trying not to get caught staring at Allison and Lydia as they sat a few lunch tables away and laughed and joked with their friends. Scott decided that he needed to get better at the guitar, because girls loved musicians. Stiles started writing music. He would scribble in the margins of his notes in class, on napkins in the cafeteria, anytime he got a glimpse of Lydia, the words would just pour from his head and onto whatever scrap of paper he could get his hands onto. It kept him sane.

_I’m a stitch away from making it, and a scar away from falling apart. Blood cells pixelate, and eyes dilate, kiss away young thrills and kills on the mouths of all my friends._

“We should start a band.”  
“Stiles, you say this all the time. Why would we start a band?”  
“Because girls like musicians and I know you’re learning guitar and maybe then you could stop staring at Allison like a love-sick puppy and woo her, and my sweet lyrics will make Lydia realize that I am the man of her dreams.”  


Stiles didn’t think it would be so easy to get Scott on board with the band idea, but mentioning Allison was enough to get Scott to agree. Now they just needed a band name. And maybe a few other members. And a place to play.

The thing about Beacon Hills High is that sports teams stick together, like packs. And even if you’re second-string-bench warmer (i.e. Stiles and Scott), the team still sticks together, and the team is still one solid group of friends. At least that’s what Jackson tells Stiles when he demands he and Scott meet up at his house after school for band practice with Danny who’s also going to be in the band. Stiles really should have seen this coming, since Jackson has been nothing but a dick to him since third grade, but while Stiles is a fountain of useless facts, he’s kind of oblivious to the world. This is why when after a month of practice, Jackson throws a party at his house to celebrate the band and Stiles shows up thinking tonight is the night that he tells Lydia how he feels, only to see Lydia attached at Jackson’s side.

“Hey everybody, we’re ‘Everybody’s Type’ – ”  
“Jackson that’s not what we decided the band name was – ”  
“And this is for Lydia.”  


_Cut it loose, watch you work the room._

It’s not Stiles’ fault after that. It’s Jackson’s fault for having alcohol at an unsupervised party and Jackson’s fault for stealing Stiles’ thunder and while they played a song that Stiles wrote FOR Lydia, but Jackson got all the credit. And it’s the world’s fault for not stopping Stiles when he corners Lydia and kisses her sloppily in the kitchen, babbling “I wrote that song for you” over and over into her lips while Lydia laughed, drunk off of alcohol and the atmosphere.

Stiles didn’t remember much after that, but he woke up the next morning with a black eye and a sense of loss. Stiles tried to catch Lydia’s eye at school, but she went back to pretending that he doesn’t exist.

_And you’re just the girl all the boys want to dance with and I’m just the boy who’s had too many chances. Sleeping on your folk’s porch again, dreaming, she said, she said, she said, ‘Why don’t you just drop dead?’ I don’t blame you for being you, but you can’t blame me for hating it. So say what are you waiting for, kiss her, kiss her. I set my clocks early cause I know I’m always late._

Stiles crumpled up the paper, shoving it into the back of his binder, determined to forget. Scott was under strict orders to never mention that night again. At least Danny apologized on Jackson’s behalf, sort of.

“That was a dick move, man. He knew how you felt. I didn’t know that’s why he wanted us to join your band though. If it makes you feel any better, your words are what got Lydia to date Jackson – so if they had come from you, she would be dating you.”

That didn’t make Stiles feel better at all. Plus now he’s got the added misery of knowing that Lydia is actually dating Jackson.

_So hum hallelujah, just off the key of reason. I thought I loved you, but it was just how you looked in the light. A teenage vow in the parking lot, ‘till tonight do us part’ I sing the blues and swallow them too._

Sophomore year sucked.

**Junior Year**

The summer between sophomore year and junior was a flurry of band practice turned into watching Lydia and Jackson make out, which prompted Scott to text Allison and turn into mush (because she genuinely liked their music – and genuinely liked Scott, which Stiles was happy for him, but also fuck him), turned into Stiles asking Danny awkward questions and Danny saying if they’re not going to practice he might as well go home, leaving Stiles to sit around awkwardly until he gives up on practice too. They don’t practice much. But at least now Scott has a girlfriend.

Once school starts again though, they practice more. Stiles thinks it’s a way for them all to be hanging out without having to study (like Mrs. McCall would ever actually believe that Scott was in a study group with Stiles). They’re all over at Jackson’s house, practicing a new song, when Lydia arrives, telling them that they have the potential to be something great, but they still suck. And that’s how they end up with Lydia in the band as their bass player. Like Stiles needed more of a reason to be in love with her.

_I keep telling myself I’m not the desperate type. I’m sitting out dance on the wall, trying to forget everything that isn’t you. I’m not going home alone, cause I don’t do to well on my own._

And maybe this year will be Stiles’ year. Maybe now that Lydia is in the band, ergo at practice for reasons other than distracting their drummer from practicing, Stiles can prove to her that he is better for her than Jackson.

They still don’t talk about Jackson’s party last year. Stiles is 98% sure that Lydia doesn’t remember him kissing her, but he knows Jackson remembers. He sees the way Jackson glares at him from across the room when he’s showing Lydia his new song, and when Lydia uses him as a footstool when she’s painting her toenails, and how Lydia links her arms with his when they walk down the halls at school to talk about the latest chemistry homework. Stiles feels manly when he can make Jackson jealous. And then slightly emasculated when Allison slips out one time at lunch that Jackson is weird when anyone is around Lydia, even when it’s boys who don’t even like girls.

“Like Danny?”  
“Like you, Stiles. Lydia fancies herself your fag hag.”  


Junior year isn’t shaping up to be much better than sophomore year.

_And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies. And all the lovers with no time for me. And all of the mothers raise their babies to stay away from me. Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams where the sewage of youth drowned the spark of my teens._

It doesn’t help his case when the winter formal rolls around and Jackson and Lydia go together, and Scott and Allison go together, leaving Stiles and Danny to go together – but not together (because, damnit, Stiles is STRAIGHT and in love with LYDIA). But Jackson pre-gamed, and enough times of Stiles asking Danny “am I attractive to gay guys?” (and the fact that Jackson is a dick), led to Jackson pushing Danny and Stiles together for every slow dance. And while Stiles isn’t gay, Danny is a very nice guy, and he and Stiles are bros, so he dances with Danny and they laugh about everyone around them and Danny apologizes on Jackson’s behalf, but Stiles doesn’t care that much. Slow songs turn into fast songs and then back into slow songs again but Danny and Stiles are just bro-ing it out. Plus Stiles catches Lydia smiling at him a few times, so it’s all worth it.

Jackson has a ton of people over for the after party. Lydia corners Stiles in the kitchen, pressing up close, so close that Stiles could smell her strawberry lip gloss.

“I’m so glad you and Danny are together now. Looks like all my months of scheming finally paid off.”

Lydia pressed a sloppy kiss into Stiles’ cheek before flouncing away. Stiles loves Lydia, but right now, he really hates her. He spent the rest of the party locked in a closet, writing.

_Why don't you show me a little bit of spine you've been saving for his mattress. I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me. Dance, dance, we're falling apart to half time. Dance, dance, and these are the lives you love to lead. Dance this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me._

**Senior Year**

The best thing about senior year is that the summer between junior year and senior year and then in the first few months of senior year, everyone turned 18. During the summer Scott and Stiles were out in the woods (far away from prying parents who were coincidentally people who would NOT approve of the activities their sons were participating in), high as a fucking kite, splayed out on the ground, their bodies draping over each other as they passed the joint back and forth between them, their limbs loose and their minds clearer than they had ever been before. This was when Stiles decided they needed to become serious musicians.

“Scott. We’ve fucked around enough. We’re all going to be real adults soon, I really think that we should take this and pursue it.”  
“You wanna make ‘Everybody’s Type’ fucking famous man?”  
“That’s not the name of the band.”  


At the first band practice of the new school year Scott brings up Stiles’ request. Jackson thinks it’s kind of dumb (he has things to focus on thankyouverymuch – like school, and lacrosse, and getting into college) until Lydia agrees that they deserve more than to play at Jackson’s lame house parties, and takes matters into her own hands (which is just as well because, well, because Scott is too busy with Allison, Jackson is too busy pretending he doesn’t care, Danny really doesn’t care, and Stiles is, well Stiles).

And then they have a somewhat steady gig, in a small rundown bar, Alpha Red, right outside of town where they didn’t get paid with money, but rather free drinks and food (sometimes they could swing free alcohol, but that really depended on the bartender). It wasn’t glamorous, they weren’t famous yet, and they still argued about their band name, but they had a consistent crowd, and Stiles was starting to get a life outside of Scott and his laptop.

_And the record won't stop skipping, and the lies just won't stop slipping, and besides my reputation's on the line. We can fake it for the airwaves, force our smiles, baby, half dead. From comparing myself to everyone else around me._

Life was going pretty well for Stiles, despite the fact that Lydia and Jackson were still together, Scott and Allison were together, and even Danny had started talking to the new transfer student, Matt, and Stiles was still on his lonesome, watching his friends and band mates be in love. Until three weeks in of their weekly show at the Alpha Red when Stiles caught sight of him. Which threw Stiles for a loop, because he liked girls, he’s always liked girls (ok, one girl in particular, but she’s still a girl!), and suddenly he wants to know who this broody man who shows up with a tall, gorgeous, brunette woman on his arm (who looks twice his age, but who’s Stiles to judge), who watches their set with barely disguised interest. Stiles can feel the man’s gaze on him, on the way he leans close into the microphone to practically scream his lyrics over Jackson’s steady pounding on the drums. It’s purely a curiosity thing, at least that’s what he tells Danny, who smirked when he saw Stiles’ eyes following the broody man as he walked out the door after their set, the woman walking next to him.

Really, Stiles just wants to know this guy’s story. He never moves from his spot at the bar, his hand clenched tightly around the woman’s waist as she flirts with every other man who passes them by. Stiles just thinks he’s an interesting man. And if Stiles had accidentally bumped into him trying to flag the bartender down for a cup of water, and sort of rubbed up against this man only to find that he was rock solid and warm, then hey, icing on the cake of an interesting man, right?

And if Stiles’ heart fluttered a little bit when he saw the broody man and his girlfriend the next week at the bar, no one else needed to know that. At least Scott believed him. Too bad Lydia and Danny were both more perceptive than that. When Stiles went home that night, after “accidentally” brushing into the man again, only to have him give Stiles a small smile as he steadied him, and he pulled out his notebook and wrote and wrote and wrote. He would tell you this song was about Lydia, all of his songs were about Lydia, but something was different in this tone, something new. Something Stiles wasn’t ready to deal with, because after being in love with Lydia for four years, Stiles didn’t know what it was like to like anyone else. Much less a guy.

_Is this more than you bargained for yet. Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet, wishing to be the friction in your jeans. Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him. I'm just a notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song._

The next time they play the Alpha Red, Stiles tries not to look like he’s staring at the brooding man as he sings, as the words leave his lips like a caress. He swears he sees a smirk on the man’s face, Stiles’ smile threatening to mess his words up, but they don’t, and Stiles is rocking it, and he’s on fire, and no, his stomach doesn’t drop when the man leans over and kisses the woman attached to him squarely on the lips. So that’s how this was going to go?

Maybe Lydia knew something all along, and maybe Stiles didn’t just dance with Danny at winter formal because they’re bros, and maybe Stiles was only in love with Lydia because she was new and she rejected him and because the rest of the people at Beacon Hills High were chumps.

“Danny, am I attractive to gay guys?”  
“I don’t think he’s gay, Stiles. He was kissing a girl.”  
“I’m asking a general question, no one in particular in mind, just a general…thought.”  


“I’ve seen your mouth open, Stillinski. I’m sure some guys can put you to use.”  
“NO ONE WAS ASKING YOU JACKSON.”  


Fine. Maybe Stiles was a little less straight than he initially claimed to be, but hey! He’s young! He’s allowed to be sexually confused! And it’s not a crime to lurk near the bar when Mr. Sexy Smirk is there with his girlfriend and listen to their conversations, which are fairly boring, but at least Stiles hears her chastise him, calling him Derek.

Derek. A name to the face that has recently been in his dreams (ok fine and fantasies as well). Derek. He lets the name roll around on his tongue a few times, tests it out, and finds that it’s the perfect type of name to scream in his bedroom late at night when the memory of Derek’s lips around the straw of his drink, sucking it down. Lydia? Lydia who? Everyone should be happy that at least the group is less tense around each other, now that Jackson isn’t staring Stiles down as he croons his songs to Lydia, who blatantly ignores him. And if he indulges Lydia’s sudden interest in his wardrobe and drags him to the mall one Sunday to buy new pants because his aren’t tight enough, well, it would be a shame not to wear his new pants at their next show, wouldn’t it?

Besides, Stiles is really getting somewhere with Derek now. They smile in between sets and sometimes they make small talk while Derek’s girlfriend is in the bathroom. He met her once, her name is Kate, and she spat it out like talking to Stiles was going to kill her. Derek’s smile was easy when he said goodbye to Stiles that night, before snaking his arm around Kate’s waist again. Stiles doesn’t like Kate. At all.

_Keep quiet, nothing comes as easy as you. Can I lay in your bed all day? I'll be your best kept secret, and your biggest mistake. The hand behind this pen relives a failure every day. And I'll keep my jealousy close, cause it's all mine. And if you say this makes you happy, then I'm not the only one lying._

Jackson thinks it’s funny, Scott doesn’t get it, but at least Danny pats Stiles on the shoulder after the show.

“I know you’re new to this, but even when a hot guy smiles at you, when he kisses a girl on the mouth afterwards that usually doesn’t mean he likes guys.”  
“I was in love with Lydia for four years and now I like a guy.”  
“You’re special.”  


Stiles is past “accidentally” brushing past Derek now. This time he full on side-swipes him as he leans across the bar for his water. If this action causes Derek to splash his drink on his companion’s dress, oh, well, that’s not his fault.

“What is your problem?”  
“I have no problem here, I’m just getting water. You can get your paws off me now.”  
“Stiles…”  
“Derek.”  
“Stiles, you’re just a kid.”  


Stiles has always hated Kate, but no more than he does right now, watching her as she slides up to Derek, pulling his face towards hers for a hard kiss.

“Derek let’s go. He’s an abomination to music and taints this bar. We can do better.”

Stiles watches as she eyes him up and down before pulling Derek out of the bar with him, her hand clenched around his wrist. Derek didn’t even bother to say goodbye.

Scott still doesn’t understand it, but Stiles stops trying to explain. They’re at band practice a few days later, when Scott broaches the topic, alarmed when Stiles throws the microphone on the ground and storms into the kitchen. He doesn’t want to talk about it. He doesn’t care what anyone says, he is not being a child. His lyrics were supposed to keep him from going crazy and instead they were just fueling his misery.

_We're the therapists pumping through your speakers. Delivering just what you need, we're well read and poised, we're the best boys. We're the chemists who've found the formula, to make your heart swell and burst. No matter what they say, don't believe a word. Cause I'll keep singing this lie if you'll keep believing it._

Derek doesn’t come back the next two weeks, not that Stiles notices, or cares. The next time Stiles sees Derek, Derek is alone. Stiles scans the bar to see if he can see Kate lurking around, but Derek is significantly Kate-less for the night at least. Stiles runs into Derek at the bar again, (not actually running into him this time, Stiles doesn’t want to touch Derek anymore, can’t let his brain think anything is going to happen) and asks where Kate is.

“We broke up.”

Stiles could barely keep the grin off of his face. The rest of the week flew by in a flurry of school (because, oh yeah, in between Stiles falling for a GUY and then getting rejected, school was happening and MID TERMS were coming soon and really, Stiles didn’t have time to deal with that because Derek is single now ok). Stiles didn’t want to jinx it by wearing his good jeans again (the ones he wore when Derek turned him down), so he doesn’t. But Derek is still there, in his usual seat at the bar, still without Kate. So maybe it was the skinny jeans, who actually knows. But this time when Stiles makes eye contact with Derek from the stage, Derek doesn’t look away, or hide behind his drink, or disappear. Derek looks right back at him, his eyes glinting in the light.

_They call kids like us vicious and carved out of stone, but for what we've become, we just feel more alone. Always weigh what I've lost against what I left, progress report: I am missing you to death. Douse yourself in cheap perfume it's so fitting, so fitting of the way you are, you can't cover it up._

It had been a week. One week since Stiles had sidled up to Derek at the bar, not even pretending to be there for water, opening his mouth to ask Derek how he was doing only to be cut off by Derek’s mouth crashing down on his in an aggressive kiss. Stiles heard a thunk behind him, turning around to see Scott finally understand, but Stiles didn’t have time to dwell on that as Derek threw down a wad of cash on the bar, dragging Stiles out of the bar with him and all but throwing him into his Camaro out front. Stiles couldn’t tell you how to get from the bar to Derek’s apartment, everything from that night is fogged with lust. Stiles does know though, that yes, Derek is a very good name to scream when Derek’s head is on his cock, swallowing him whole, and swallowing down everything that Stiles could give him. And the next morning, Derek cooked him pancakes and they lazed around Derek’s apartment talking about anything and everything before Stiles had to head home, but not before (finally) getting Derek’s number.

Stiles spent the rest of that Saturday afternoon watching TV with his dad and fielding text messages from his friends wondering where he disappeared to last night.

Stiles didn’t hear from Derek at all in the beginning of the week, but Stiles wasn’t concerned. He was too busy dealing with papers and tests and remembering that there is more to life than Friday nights at Alpha Red. It doesn’t matter though because he’ll be seeing Derek on Friday.

And he does. But not how he planned to. As Stiles hops off the stage to go get his tradition water and rub up against Derek, he sees Derek with a new girl’s arms around his middle, laughing into his neck. Derek doesn’t see Stiles. He doesn’t see Stiles at all. It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does.

_The tombstones were waiting, they were half-engraved. They knew it was over, just didn't know the date. And I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me, the same way I think of you. This is a love song in my own way. Happily ever after below the waist._

“Maybe that’s his sister?”  
“It doesn’t matter anymore Scott.”  


At least his mind is taken off of Derek when Jackson and Lydia break up. Again. Only this time it seems like it might be permanent, or at least longer than a few days. Stiles, being the supportive friend he is to Lydia (and the fact that he still hates Jackson despite the fact that they’ve become sort of friends this past year), he’s there for Lydia when she needs to bitch, spends the night with her when she calls him at 3a.m. saying she’s lonely, and doesn’t even flinch when she threatens to castrate him if he told anyone at school that she felt lonely at night without Jackson. He knows he’ll get over Derek eventually. But Derek was his first kiss, and he lost his virginity to him, which shouldn’t seem like such a big deal, but considering Derek was just a guy in a bar, Stiles felt like he was too young to have his heart broken by a guy in a bar. And senior year started out so well too.

They were drunk. It was Lydia’s idea. And the nice bartender was on duty tonight and she let them drink alcohol, not just their usual waters. Jackson, Danny and Scott were just a little buzzed; they drank enough to feel loose, but Stiles and Lydia decided they needed more. Which probably wasn’t the best idea before playing music, but Stiles didn’t care. Majority of their audience was drunk as well; they wouldn’t notice if Stiles slurred. And Lydia is fucking perfect. No one would ever be able to tell from her playing that she was drunk.

_You need him. I could be him... I could be an accident but I'm still trying. That's more than I can say for him. Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town._

Stiles pretends that he doesn’t hear Derek call after him as he downs a shot at the bar, pushing past Derek to go to the bathroom. Derek. Derek who? Derek nobody. Stiles is drunk and he’s sad and suddenly Lydia is crowding in his space, pressing up against him in the hallway near the bathrooms.

“Why does no one love us?”  
“I don’t know, Lyds.”  


Stiles never thought he would ever wish to be back in Jackson’s kitchen, sophomore year of high school, but right now he does. Because Lydia is pressing up against him, kissing him sloppily, the alcohol on her breath oh so very strong. And this is everything Stiles ever wanted, or so he thought, but suddenly, the right kind of weight isn’t on him, she’s too light. And then he sees Derek, standing at the end of the hallway, his eyes hardened, staring at the two of them. And damnit, Stiles cares. He still cares that Derek came after him, except now Derek is walking away from him. He’s walking away from him and he’s got a handful of drunk Lydia and three years ago Stiles would have killed to be in this position, but right now all he wants to do is drop Lydia on the floor and run after Derek and demand an explanation.

“Lydia wait. I think I’m gay.”

_I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself, but you know that I could crush you with my voice. Stood on my roof and tried to see you forgetting about me, hide the details I don't want to know a thing. I hate the way you say my name like it's something secret. My pen is the barrel of the gun. Remind me which side you should be on._

Derek isn’t there the next week, but Stiles didn’t expect him to be. Stiles’ text messages remain unreturned and Stiles doesn’t even bother trying to call Derek either. Lydia doesn’t talk about that night and Stiles doesn’t even want to. Lydia and Jackson get back together again and Stiles doesn’t care. Scott corners him during lunch, telling him that he was talking to the bartender the other night and that woman that was with Derek last was his sister. She came to the bar that night to meet Stiles, the guy that seemed to smack some sense into her idiot brother and make him break up with his bitch of a girlfriend.

Stiles hates himself even more.

_You only hold me up like this, cause you don't know who I really am. I used to waste my time on, waste my time dreaming of being alive. Now I only waste it dreaming of you._

And like all bad things, they seem to get worse, only this time Stiles doesn't care. Jackson found out about Stiles and Lydia’s drunken make-out near the bathrooms and threatens to pummel Stiles into the ground. If Stiles cared, he would retort with something about how they were broken up at the time, that Jackson broke up with her, but Stiles doesn’t care enough to argue about it. He just waves off Jackson’s threats and tells him he doesn’t need to worry about it because he doesn’t even like girls.

It’s the first time Stiles has admitted (while sober) that he’s not as straight as he claimed to be. Jackson rolls his eyes, Scott looks confused (but supportive!), and Danny gives him a knowing look. Lydia flips her hair as usual and asks if they’re ever going to rehearse or just stand around discussing Stiles’ unsurprising confession.

Stiles isn’t even bothered by the fact that Lydia has been right for the past year about his sexuality.

_One night and one more time, thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great. "He tastes like you only sweeter.” One night, yeah, and one more time, thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories, "He tastes like you only sweeter."_

Sometimes Stiles wishes that he never broached this subject to Scott, never tried to be anything other than the kid who flails around a lot and never shuts up.

The next time Stiles sees Derek, Derek looks like shit. In Derek’s defense, Stiles looks like shit too. Derek doesn’t even look at Stiles, doesn’t acknowledge that he’s even there, and Stiles can’t blame him. And even though his words and his mind and his feelings seem to keep fucking him over, Stiles can’t help but try, one more time.

_I sleep with your old shirts, and walk through this house in your shoes. I know it's strange, it's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you. I'm supposed to love you. I've already given up on myself twice, but the third time is the charm. Threw caution to the wind, but I've got a lousy arm. And I've traced your shadows on the wall. Now I kiss them whenever I'm down. Just kind of figured on not figuring myself out._

Derek doesn’t look at him when he walks out of the bar. Stiles doesn’t blame him.

Stiles doesn’t even know what day it is anymore, he stopped paying attention. He woke up, went to school, went to band practice, went home, hung out with his dad when he was there, went to bed, and that was it. He hadn’t even realized how much time had gone by and he was graduating high school soon. He sort of had a plan, college probably. He applied to a few places out of state, but mostly ones near home because he wasn’t ready to leave at the time of applying, but that is kind of changing as the days go on. At least he has friends now, well more friends than just Scott. The band hangs out (with Allison, and with whoever Danny is dating) a lot, even when they’re not practicing, and Stiles and Jackson manage to reach a mutual understanding and appreciation for each other. Everything is great, super, fantastic, whatever.

They still play the Alpha Red every Friday night and sometimes Derek is there, sometimes he’s not. Stiles never talks to him and Derek doesn’t try to talk to him either. They just coexist in the same space. Until one day, Stiles is rushing to the bar again, sweaty and thirsty from performing, and he doesn’t pay attention as he brushes past someone, only he gets stopped as a hand pulls out to stop him. Stiles jerks around and finds himself face to face with Derek. Derek, who looks just as beautiful as he always has. Derek, who has that rare soft smile on his lips as he looks at Stiles.

“I’m sorry.”  
“I think I’m in love with you.”  
“Ok.”  


As far as first conversations post-fight, this one was full of pretty serious words, but that was ok. Stiles got his water and they pushed their way through the crowd of people and found a booth in the back. They sat and talked through everything. Derek talked about his sister and how he lost his phone which is why he never got back to Stiles and by the time he got a new phone they weren’t speaking. And Stiles explained that he didn’t really know what he was doing, and that Lydia didn’t mean anything to him, not like that, not anymore, or maybe she never did at all, Stiles was still working through that thought. They talked for hours in that corner and as they got ready to go their separate ways, Derek gave Stiles his new number and they made plans to meet up after next week’s show. Derek pressed a quick kiss on Stiles’ lips before walking out of the bar.

Scott makes sure to mention that he completely understands what’s going on right now. Stiles just punches him in the arm, unable to contain the huge goofy grin that has spread across his face.

_Me and you, setting in a honeymoon. If I woke up next to you_

“Stiles, we still don’t have a band name.”  
“The Abominations.”  
“That sounds kind of fucked up.”  
“That’s because, Scotty my boy, we’re all fucked up. But it’s ok, man.”  


Lydia may have been the first person Stiles fell in love with, but Derek was the first person Stiles fell in love with for real. And in the end, it was all ok.

**Author's Note:**

> This was born from me listening to Fall Out Boy one day and realizing that I could apply a lot of the songs to Stiles being in a relationship with either Derek or Lydia. Hence this fic was born, the journey of Stiles falling in love with Lydia and then falling in love with Derek, expressed through Stiles writing songs. This is my first full-length Sterek fic and it's a new style of writing from anything I've written before (I'm usually heavy on the dialogue, but this time around there's not a lot of it).
> 
> I just changed up the timeline a little bit. All songs are Fall Out Boy songs. Title is from the song "Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends" by Fall Out Boy. I don't own the characters, they belong to Teen Wolf. This is unbeta'd - all mistakes are mine.


End file.
